I wonder if that is to say I am a person or thing, although significant enough to distinguish more than a bore, am of indeterminable amount and consequence?

I could never forget my worth to you if only I knew how much. However, it really is an answer I don't care to know tonight. I'm afraid I won't mean as much to you as you do to me. But we are both at fault for not calculating to the other the finer details between us.

I don't regret anything except what goes unsaid. If it weren't for your yelling at me I don't know that I could go on. It is how I know I mean anything at all. It's all I know and it is all I have.

The dance continues and on my birthday the Tango has never been sweeter.

I'm running out of ideas on how to be forgiven. Yes, I made a mistake. This is me we're talking about. I make roughly ten mistakes a night, and that's on a good night. Yes, I was spending time with a mortal. Yes, I didn't bother to tell you.

I'm sorry. I thought you'd kill him or be pissed off.

You didn't kill him, did you? Crowley isn't that bad a person. He's just a little set in what he thinks.

I'm tired of waking up each night, wondering if you're going to be gone over this of all things.

Here's my amusement for the night. Googlefights. http://www.googlefights.com

( Armand versus Santino )

( Armand versus Lestat )

( Armand versus Daniel Molloy )

( Daniel Molloy versus Nicolas de Lefent )

I was sitting there earlier reading and came to the conclusion that violence and crime are problems of medical ecology.

All right, say take an accident. You have:

VICTIM+ENVIRONMENT (say an icy road) + AGENT (a car) + MECHANISM (tire blowout) = ACCIDENT INCIDENT

Now for intentional, I think it would read something like:

[VICTIM(S) + VICTIMIZER + TIME] + AGENT/VECTOR FACTORS + MECHANISM + ENVIRONMENT FACTORS = CRIME

I think. Mix victim and victimizer with bad luck or timing (TIME) with their motive, intent, opportunity, and method (AGENT/VECTOR FACTORS), along with the environment and the result is a crime. MECHANISM would be the gun or weapon used if I’m right. EVIRONMENTAL FACTORS would have to be not just physical stuff but social, political, legal, and economical factors of the criminal.

Criminals are a weird sort. I mean, they’re everyone. Who hasn’t stolen a pen from work or something tiny. We’re all criminals. We just happen to grow up. In a way, according to Thomas Szaz, criminal behaviour and violence are pathological conditions of the mind, they are truly diseases since they meet the five medical criteria of what defines a problem as a disease. All criminals are mentally ill to a degree. That doesn’t mean that being defined as such is an excuse for criminal behavior, nor is this to be seen as mitigating circumstances because a person can be both mentally ill and legally sane such as Jeffery Dahmer.

That’s like the media likes to say so-and-so is psychotic. That’s untrue. Psychotic fits the definition of being legally insane, which is why true psychotics are a minority among violent criminals. Psychotics are out of touch with reality, and they often hear voices, see visions, or both. Psychopaths (or sociopaths if you prefer) are also mentally ill, but they are in touch with reality and therefore and not legally insane. Psychopaths know right from wrong and make the conscious decision to do what is wrong. That’s not the behaviour of a crazy person. Psychopaths also lack any conscience and could care less about the harm they do.

It’s kind of weird in a way that except for some higher apes, humans are the only creatures that intentionally kill, maim, torture, rape, and rob their own species. Humans are also the only critters out there that can turn anything into a weapon. Today’s crime statistics reflect that many crimes, especially a high number of murders, are motivated by sex and power.

My thought on it is that it’s ego gone wild. The ego is an essential tool of constructive behaviour, but when a human becomes a slave to his or her ego, the human ultimately degenerates into destructive behaviour.

Anyways, I think I might finally be able to beat that last gym leader on my Pokemon game. I finally got mine up to a high enough level.

Oh, yeah, and don't get into a bickering match between Santino and David. Highly not advised. Although they do degenerate into some interesting looking circumstances at the end.

January's always bitter
But Lord this one beats all
The wind ain't quit for weeks now
And the drifts are ten feet tall

One good thing about the villa here on Night Island is that I can get up on the roof and not be disturbed or even noticed by the people going in and out of the main part itself. I know Armand thinks I’m crazy or that I’m going to break my foolish bones when my clumsiness takes over and I end up plunging the five or so stories to the unforgiving sand below. I figure if and when I do, it isn’t going to matter much. Give me a night or two, and I’ll be back to my usual. I’ve never bothered to find out just how quickly I can heal. If it’s longer, I could always torment Armand into playing nursemaid. I think in a way, he’s more afraid that I’ll accidentally lose track of time some night and be caught up here with nowhere to go. Or do it on purpose. I still have my moments of madness although the gaps between them are growing.

( Wolves )